Kindergarten

I can remember only a few things I learned in kindergarten, certainly no lies about the human body, and not everything that is on Robert Fulghum’s list.

I did learn about staying in my seat when I didn’t want to, not talking at all (not even in whispers), and never writing on the chalkboard. The seat of my attached desk and bench had splinters and the big drawer under the seat was hard to open and would pinch your fingers.

Only boys could hang upside down on the bike rack… girls could not let anyone see their panties. And never, never, go home at recess. Even if you need to go.

So now I find out that there are at least six lies about the human body that I should have learned in kindergarten! My how times have changed… even if the lies in the title are a lie. That these are misconceptions is news to me… perhaps to you as well.

What do you remember about kindergarten?

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One Response to Kindergarten

  1. Curmudgeon Bludgeon says:

    Hey Motley D,

    Good stuff. As someone who skipped kindergarten altogether but grew up reading Cracked Magazine, I can tell you you’re on the right track. Pro click article. Two quotations stand out in particular:

    You were left to conclude that your teachers were liars or that there was something hideously wrong with you, depending on whether you were raised Catholic. (lol)

    and

    Also, far from being relegated to specific locations on the tongue, your taste buds go all the way down your throat into your digestive system.

    (Where have I heard this before? Ah, but educators are forever feeding us horseshit, aren’t they—that’s how they make the little mushrooms grow.)

    Incidentally, if you’re going to quote Robert Fulsome, you really should take the test:

    http://www.sporcle.com/games/scarequotes/all_i_really_need_to_know

    Post your results! lol

    CB

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